You are a champion

via Daily Prompt: Champion

champion

Be your own champion. Celebrate who you are and revel in all you have accomplished and have yet to accomplish. Make sure the people who surround you realize and acknowledge that you are worthy of and deserve the best. But most of all make sure that you realize it too. We don’t receive medals for the obstacles we overcome in our daily lives or recognition for getting back up after we struggle. But as long as you know you are worth it then you will overcome any battle that may come your way. And that is better than any prize or medal you could ever receive.

#dailyprompt

 

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Rest, Relax and Repeat

via Daily Prompt: Pause

I have been taking a short pause from blogging almost every day. Not from lack of material but more from work kicking my ass the past two weeks. I love my job, I really do, but my workload has been absolutely crazy. I am also trying to balance my relationship and making time for that, working out, seeing my family and friends, etc. I love to write and I especially love to write for my blog and I am hoping that in a few days, when a major project ends at work I will be back to writing more for pleasure again. I still have a lot to say.

I also realized that I have not taken a vacation anywhere in more than three years. I need to rest, relax and recharge. I want to continue working on my novel, which I hope to have completed by mid summer. I’ve had time off but nothing for an extended period of time. Just trying to deal with all that life was throwing at me last summer did not allow me to take time off either. But this summer I have already scheduled time off and my new guy, who will be known as VG, is open to us taking some time off together and going somewhere. I’m not going to look too far ahead yet, but things are looking positive, so far.

The next three days are jam packed with meetings at work and I am not sure my brain will be functioning that well to write at night 🙂 I wish you all a great week and hope to be back online and writing by Wednesday or Thursday. Cheers!

#dailyprompt

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Uncharted Territory

via Daily Prompt: Territory

I am in a relationship again and I am terrified. He is a great guy, I like him a lot, I can honestly see it going somewhere, but I am scared. Considering how my last few relationships ended, actually considering how most of my relationships have ended in the past two decades, including divorce and a broken engagement, it is easy to understand why.

My heart and emotions have been through a lot. They have been shattered, broken, taken for granted, used and toyed with. I have always healed, dusted my self off and opened my heart and mind again to love. I usually do it fearlessly but not this time.

I don’t know why I am feeling anxious, worried and scared this time, but I think it has do with more of my fear of having my heart broken again than the relationship itself. I am usually all-in, no fear, but this time I am being more cautious. I am not afraid to express what I am feeling and or be vocal if something is bothering me, but the moments I am alone, I tend to think more. It sounds confusing doesn’t it?

I know I just need to trust and remain positive and I’m trying. But I also keep wondering if one day he is just going to give up on me, like the others. My heart tells me no, my brain likes to do the opposite and make problems where there aren’t any. It’s a constant battle between the two.

I have been through a lot and I know I deserve and am worth the best in a relationship. I have never expected perfection and also know that I am not capable of it either. He gets that too and has stuck with me and I with him. Maybe that is the unfamiliar territory I am in, a true partner who is walking by my side, not leaving it, or walking away when life gets in the way or things get messy between us. Someone who now looks at me and has told me that he has saved the best for last and that he will not let me go. And I hope he never lets me go.

#dailyprompt

 

 

 

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Pain Eraser

via Daily Prompt: Elixir

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was an elixir you can drink to make heartache go away? Millions, possibly billions, of dollars could be profited. Think about it, how many times do you wish you could just make the pain go away? Would you erase your memories too? Could memories exist without pain?

Is the pain necessary to prepare us for something greater? Maybe it is the failed relationships that give us an appreciation for the next person in our life.

Time is our magic potion, our elixir. The heartache eventually fades and love finds it way back in. The tears stop flowing and strength returns too. The only magic potion is you. No one can make you feel better, you have to do that yourself.  And how you choose to live after you heal is the best medicine and sometimes it is the best revenge too.

#dailyprompt

 

Posted in bloggers, blogging, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

What a Difference a Year Makes

via Daily Prompt: Meaningless

It has been almost a year since The Complicated One and I broke up and he moved out. We still talk and catch up with each other pretty regularly. It is not meaningless drivel but more of a deep care about each other. At least I’d like to think so. Any romantic feelings have been long gone and we are able to be friends and see each other through a different lens.

After we broke up, my life began to spiral for quite a long time. We had been arguing for so long and we were never really on the same page about our relationship, at least he was not. We lived together for eighteen months and our breakup crushed me. We had some really good times but some really bad times too. He isn’t a bad person, he just never chose me and chose a lifestyle that he never wanted to include me in either. I know the guy that many of his friends do not. And I still believe I am one of the few genuine people in his life. I learned some hard lessons being with him and I lost myself after we broke up and I think I lost myself a little too while we were together. But I have come back stronger and wiser.

As I have said in previous blogs I think we will always be connected in some way. This time though it does not involve pain and heartache. It involves friendship, sometimes it’s a little strange, sometimes a little more normal, but it is ours. Not everyone understands, sometimes I don’t even understand how we managed to salvage a friendship but we did. I think it may be because I finally realized what I can handle and expect and it is on my terms too, not just his, and that has made all the difference.

#dailyprompt

 

Posted in bloggers, blogging, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

You are good enough

via Daily Prompt: Acceptance

acceptance

Today’s daily prompt is definitely challenging for me, not because I can’t think of what to write regarding the word acceptance, it is because I have so much to say on the subject. My blog journey has highlighted acceptance many times. I thought of reblogging one of my favorite older posts regarding accepting your partners past and flaws. I have written so much about acceptance and forgiveness I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but it  has been a tough journey at times to get to a place of peace. I finally realized and have written about my true worth. I questioned it the past year and looking back I understand why, but I will no longer allow myself to not see me for the great person I am. Sounds a little selfish, maybe a little conceited? Nope, it sounds confident to me.

We all need to realize we are worth it, even when we feel like we are not. Don’t let anyone diminish who you are. If anyone labels you as over-emotional, crazy, weak, or worse, walk away. I can guarantee whomever is labeling you with hurtful words is not happy with his or her self and is projecting their insecurities on you.

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With time and healing has come acceptance of who I am. I am flawed. I have insecurities. I cry easily, and am outspoken. I laugh loud, have a wicked sense of humor and love hard. As I always say there are days that I still get down, get a little angry at myself and don’t make the smartest of decisions. But that’s okay. I am not perfect, I am me, and I am good enough. Don’t let anyone define you or try to tell you who you are. They are not the boss of you, you are.

acceptance2

When you have what you feel is a string of bad luck, or feel like life is never going to get better, just keep going. Claw your way back up, ask for help, yell, scream, cry, do whatever you need to do to get back up. And then look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth it. Forgive and accept yourself first, always. Once you do, you will wonder why you even questioned your worth at all.

#dailyprompt

 

 

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Don’t Label Me

via Daily Prompt: Label

label

Don’t label me as weak because I cry.

Don’t label me as wounded because I have issues.

Don’t label me as emotional because I feel.

Don’t label me as broken because sometimes I break down.

I don’t need your labels, I just need understanding. In fact, we all do. Stop labeling others and worry about your own side of the street. Make sure it is clean before you judge anyone else.

#dailyprompt

 

 

Posted in bloggers, blogging, communication, dailyprompt, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, life lesson, love, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Wow

What a sweet surprise. Thank you all for following, commenting and being part of my journey.

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, communication, goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 13 Comments

A Breakup that Feels Good!

via Daily Prompt: Luck

luck

Lately I feel as if my luck has changed or maybe the universe is finally listening to me and what I have been asking for. After a horrible 2016 and my summer of shit, things are slowly starting to fall into place for me. Yes, there are still family illnesses, but everyone is holding steady, for now. My job is absolutely kicking my ass with the workload, but I love what I do.

But the real kicker, my love life is on a happy, steady path. I’m currently in unfamiliar territory, at least for the past few years. I lost who I was and let some crappy relationships suck the soul and life out of me, at least temporarily. This past summer changed me, not for the better. I was too needy, too sad, too deflated. I had no fight in me, I allowed myself to take blame for things that I should not have. But I have me back, the real me. I will always still be the woman who cries easily, loves hard and will try to save everyone around me. But I am now my priority. I am outgoing, emotional and will say what I feel, that won’t change. But I have also gotten my badass self back too. The woman who does not let a man define her or dictate who she should be or put up with bullshit to keep the peace.

My luck changed when I took a good hard look at who I was and realized what I needed to do to get myself back. It took work, lots of it. I still have days that exhaust me, but they don’t defeat me.

I also feel like I have hit the love jackpot. Finally, a man who accepts that we have issues, individual ones, and accepts who I am and I accept who he is. We get along well, in every way. It hasn’t been an easy road to get here, but he did not give up, I did not give up. I’m still guarded, I think my heart will be for a while, his is too, but when you fight for each other and accept each other, but most of all have understanding for each other and what you have both been through, the possibilities are endless.

So bad luck I am officially breaking up with you. Don’t worry, you will be okay, I’m sure you will sneak back in now and then and try to win me back. I won’t give in though, not anymore. And just remember it’s me, not you.

#dailyprompt

 

 

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Scarred but not broken

via Daily Prompt: Massive

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My scars do not define me. They are there and I wear them, not as a badge of honor, but as reminder that I can fight whatever may come my way. I am not speaking of my physical scars but the ones that are not visible to anyone else, unless I show them. We all have these scars. They are left there by battles that we fight, sometimes with others, sometimes alone. That massive hole in your heart that you feel will never be filled or be repaired, will be, eventually. And when it does, there may be scars left in the wound’s place but they will not define you either, but serve as a reminder of all you have endured and conquered. And you will be stronger for it and ready for the next battle.

#dailyprompt

 

 

Posted in blogging, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, goals, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments