For years I bit my fingernails, a pretty gross, disgusting habit. I don’t even think it was a nervous habit, I just did it. Then when I was thrown back into the dating world after my divorce, I became more conscious of how my nails looked and they were quite ugly. I needed to stop and make a change. I made a effort to redirect the habit and eventually stopped. Of course when you also think how many things your fingers touch on a daily basis, it also helps to kick the habit.
Now I am the opposite, I am obsessed with painting my nails. I’ve become a hoarder of nail polish colors (Essie is my fave) and paint my own nails. I never bite them anymore even when I’m at my most stressed, or bored. I guess old habits can be broken and replaced with new ones. It may difficult and uncomfortable but you can do it, with persistence and patience.
It’s kind of like being in the right relationship I guess – some things may be uncomfortable and difficult, but with the right person by your side, you can persevere. Break the habit of settling for partners who make no effort to understand you or worse yet, stand by you when you need him/her the most. Find the one that fights for you, not only with you. And when you do allow yourself to be in a relationship where you matter, you will find that it feels really good and you’ll wonder why you allowed yourself to settle for less than what you deserve.