Sub-par Relationships

via Daily Prompt: Substandard

Why do so many of us accept substandard relationships in our lives? Is it because that is all we know or is it something else? Today’s daily prompt had me reflecting on my past relationships and some of my friend’s relationships as well.

As I look back on the past two years, I let men into my life that have not given their all when it comes to me. I feel like I have been doing all the work in many of my recent relationships.  This wasn’t always the case – it just seems more prevalent as I’ve gotten older. I have friends who have gone back to men that treat them like toss away garbage. My most recent relationship didn’t require much work on my part – we got along really well but when it came to breaking up with me – he took the cowardly road out. Wouldn’t face me to do it. A close friend’s guy basically cut off communication with her – she felt disposable and cried buckets over him. This has happened more than once. He eventually came back but why accept someone who clearly did not value you in the first place? She is a beautiful person inside and out and worth so much more – I wish she’d realize that. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that as well.

We all  have things we deal with in life but it is no excuse for bad behavior. And even though I miss new/old guy I have to keep reminding myself that he chose the easy way out and pretty much discarded me like I did not matter. I will not let myself ever give him the option of seeing me again. I can’t devalue myself like that anymore. It is a difficult choice but if I really mattered he would still be in my life and me in his.

A close friend did break it off with a guy who did not deserve her either. Even though she was and is still hurting she is so strong to keep him out of her life, no matter how much he tries to creep back in. She warned him repeatedly that he was losing her but he did not listen. In the end she had had enough and knew she needed to move on and deserved so much more. She knows her worth and has let him know it as well. I admire her for her strength.

The past few weeks have been hard but I am starting to get a little stronger. I know going forward I will not be the only one making an effort or allowing someone to walk in and out of my life when things get messy or life is too much to handle. Real relationships don’t continually start and stop. Don’t let the good memories overshadow the pain that someone puts you through. If he or she lets you go or disappears from your life and then tries to reclaim a spot in it tell them it has been taken by something much more important – your self worth. If they valued you and your relationship they would not have left – they would  have been grateful that they had you by their side in the first place.

I will still mourn my loss but I know that I cannot go back to someone who did not care about hurting me or the pain he has put me through. Don’t let yourself do it either. Stay strong and know that you are worth so much more.



About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
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11 Responses to Sub-par Relationships

  1. Chrissie B says:

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there as well, several times with one person. Now, I know what I will be suggesting here will seem like highly treasonous behavior, but, it bears saying. Is there at no point in time when you were in this person’s company, that a little red flag did not make an appearance? Good guys seldom do this type of stuff. Long story short, my personal opinion is that if a woman finds herself in this position, it’s because she ignored the signals, put on her blinders and then found herself exactly where you (and I) are. I’ve heard it said that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. So true. Good luck and remember – plenty of fish in the sea!

    Liked by 1 person

    • geminilvr says:

      Yeah last summer he ghosted me after knowing me for 3 weeks. When we reconnected we talked that all out and his behavior was very different this time around – he was present and there and no fighting or any weird signals – I am truly at a loss and never thought there would be another woman in his life. All my other relationships did have red flags – this one baffles me because we were in such a great place when it ended. I wish you luck too and of course happiness! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Chrissie B says:

        Well, there was your first sign…ghosting you after 3 weeks. He showed you who he was. Remember that, its a little gift early on in a relationship that can save you from a lot of heartache in the long run.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Empowering words! Yes, we all need to learn our self-worth and also that we deserve so much more than some coward. Stay strong. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. L. Rorschach says:

    I would never stay with someone who treated me badly. However, I will stay with a guy who is a “Mr. Right Now” even if he is ultimately not the ideal partner for me because I enjoy his company and we have fun together. I like the companionship.

    So, yes, it could be “sub-par” but it’s pretty damn good regardless. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You got me with the questions in the very beginning. Marvelous piece of writing

    Liked by 1 person

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