Why do so many of us accept substandard relationships in our lives? Is it because that is all we know or is it something else? Today’s daily prompt had me reflecting on my past relationships and some of my friend’s relationships as well.
As I look back on the past two years, I let men into my life that have not given their all when it comes to me. I feel like I have been doing all the work in many of my recent relationships. This wasn’t always the case – it just seems more prevalent as I’ve gotten older. I have friends who have gone back to men that treat them like toss away garbage. My most recent relationship didn’t require much work on my part – we got along really well but when it came to breaking up with me – he took the cowardly road out. Wouldn’t face me to do it. A close friend’s guy basically cut off communication with her – she felt disposable and cried buckets over him. This has happened more than once. He eventually came back but why accept someone who clearly did not value you in the first place? She is a beautiful person inside and out and worth so much more – I wish she’d realize that. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that as well.
We all have things we deal with in life but it is no excuse for bad behavior. And even though I miss new/old guy I have to keep reminding myself that he chose the easy way out and pretty much discarded me like I did not matter. I will not let myself ever give him the option of seeing me again. I can’t devalue myself like that anymore. It is a difficult choice but if I really mattered he would still be in my life and me in his.
A close friend did break it off with a guy who did not deserve her either. Even though she was and is still hurting she is so strong to keep him out of her life, no matter how much he tries to creep back in. She warned him repeatedly that he was losing her but he did not listen. In the end she had had enough and knew she needed to move on and deserved so much more. She knows her worth and has let him know it as well. I admire her for her strength.
The past few weeks have been hard but I am starting to get a little stronger. I know going forward I will not be the only one making an effort or allowing someone to walk in and out of my life when things get messy or life is too much to handle. Real relationships don’t continually start and stop. Don’t let the good memories overshadow the pain that someone puts you through. If he or she lets you go or disappears from your life and then tries to reclaim a spot in it tell them it has been taken by something much more important – your self worth. If they valued you and your relationship they would not have left – they would have been grateful that they had you by their side in the first place.
I will still mourn my loss but I know that I cannot go back to someone who did not care about hurting me or the pain he has put me through. Don’t let yourself do it either. Stay strong and know that you are worth so much more.