As I have written previously, the past few weeks have brought a change in my life that has been a surprise, but a really welcome surprise. As I stand at the precipice of my new/old relationship those damn voices in my head are constantly asking me – should I jump all in or hold back in fear of having my heart broken again? I know we work together as a couple, it is better than ever the second time around, but there is that new fear that something is going to happen and pull the rug of relationship happiness out from under me again. I never had this issue of being fearful in a relationship before, but experience and a shitty couple of years will do that to you.
After spending a day off yesterday in beautiful weather with our toes in the sand eating lunch on the beach, I’m edging so close to just taking the leap. The more time we spend together, the more comfortable I am feeling. Not necessarily comfortable with him, I have that already, but more secure in our relationship. He’s given me no indications that he isn’t in it with me, it is my own mind playing with my thoughts.
I guess I need to trust myself most of all and the decisions I make. Take the leap, but keep both eyes open this time.