And then there was….

via Daily Prompt: None

When I was thinking of names for my blog my original title was going to be And then there were none. It was already taken and it didn’t really fit anyway. Was there really going to be none when a relationship ended? What about me? I matter most in my life. And no I am not being selfish by stating that, we need to put ourselves first, before we can take care of anyone else. Regardless of who walks in and out of my life, it all begins with me. We are taught to be selfless, put your kids and family’s well being above all else. Try to keep your spouse or partner happy too. Get that project done at work, keep your supervisor happy.

Who keeps you balanced and happy? The answer is not always the one that you should give. People will say he/she makes me happy. My kids make me happy. No one should make you happy, they should add to your happiness. Happiness, or whatever you want to call it, should start with you. You have to like who you are, be proud of your life, scars and all. If you are constantly disparaging yourself, whether regarding physical attributes or personality traits, you can’t possibly be content in a relationship with anyone else either.

I had a relationship that had a lot of potential fail late last summer (the ghoster, which has taken an interesting turn, more on that later). He had his own issues but I had mine too. I was not happy with my life or who I was. I was doing my best to try to seem like I had it all together, that nothing bothered me and that I was a strong as steel. Problem was that I was none of that at the time. I was struggling with life. I wasn’t honest with what was happening with me and trying to be someone I wasn’t hindered the relationship from going forward. I lost my confidence, in myself. I hated my life and what had happened. Until I began to heal and gain my confidence and be proud of who I am was I then able to be in a healthy relationship, with both myself and another person.

We all go through shit and bad times. Every single one of us. If someone tries to sell you their perfect world, they are lying. In this age of social media we see the happy stories on Facebook. – smiling faces, perfect family trips, etc. We project what we want the world to see, and although I have friends who post the truth too, so much of what people put out there is bullshit. I am rarely on social media anymore. I realized that I pretty much despise it. It does serves its purpose, keeping up with people that I don’t talk to on a regular basis, but the less I’ve been on it, the better I feel too.

I know we all shoulder different burdens. I hear and read stories that break my heart and make me wonder how someone can go on with all that they have to endure in life. But even on your worst days please always tell yourself that you are worth it and you are stronger than you know. You may lose your way at times and feel overwhelmed, and that nothing ever goes your way or is easy. Don’t ever let the fire inside you go out. You are in charge of that flame, no one else. Keep fighting, keep living and as hard as it may seem some days, keep loving yourself and who you are.

#dailyprompt

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About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. Navigating the dating waters in my forties isn't easy but hey what in life is? My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
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8 Responses to And then there was….

  1. Great post and so true… keep on keeping on… It’s funny how some people only come into our lives for a short while to teach us about ourselves.
    A reason, a season or a lifetime.
    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. shaunkellett says:

    Couldn’t agree more that nobody ‘makes you happy’. It’s like when people say their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife ‘completes’ them… I’d argue they need to work on what makes them whole instead. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy with my Girlfriend and we’re very much in love, but I complete myself, I’m my own person, she adds to me in a wonderful way though 🙂 Thanks for sharing your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. updownflight says:

    Great points! I hope a lot of people read this post.

    I feel people must let themselves be happy. Part of the process, in my opinion, is to let yourself feel joy from the little things in life. You can then work hard and feel happiness from recognition, or if you don’t get it, give it to yourself when you truly know you’ve done a good job.

    I like how you said that others add to your joy. So true.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ladyinthemountains says:

    Great post. I am glad I am finally there. I definitely don’t need anyone to be happy. I don’t NEED anyone at all. I would like to find someone but it is no longer a need. I love me. I am fabulous.

    Liked by 1 person

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