There was a time when things weren’t going so well for me and chaos invaded my daily life. As a result, my overactive brain would imagine scenarios that didn’t actually exist, when it came to my relationships. Unfortunately it was during those times that my brain and my fingers did all the talking. I developed a major texting problem. I would lash out at my ex (sometimes well deserved) or the guy I was seeing last summer. It was bad, not all necessarily my fault, but I take ownership of my, shall we say, embarrassing, annoying, not well thought out, out of control texting behavior too. But there was an underlying reason for it -lack of communication.
I thrive on communication and when someone I am in a relationship with starts to pull away I want to know why. It eats at my brain, the analytical side of me then partners up with the emotional side of me and well, becomes a shit storm of texts and scenarios. I am an over thinker, my brain is permanently on overdrive. It works to my advantage most days and some days it does not.
If you ask me what I think is the biggest relationship killer? I would answer unequivocally – COMMUNICATION! I, unfortunately (and fortunately too), do not have the ability to read minds. If you are happy, sad, angry, confused or just going through something, how would I know what is weighing on your mind or what you are feeling, if you do not talk to me? I’ve had my share of passive aggressive men , liars, cheaters and just plain mean-spirited comment guys and what did they all have in common? Poor communication skills.
Communication is not always comfortable, but it is necessary. It is better to talk it out, then sit and stew, because that never ends well, at least in my case. And sometimes you need to take the first step and just ask your partner – Hey are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help? Understanding can only happen if you are aware of the situation. Break the ice and talk before you break someone’s heart instead.