Silence is deafening

via Daily Prompt: Control

There was a time when things weren’t going so well for me and chaos invaded my daily life. As a result, my overactive brain would imagine scenarios that didn’t actually exist, when it came to my relationships.  Unfortunately it was during those times that my brain and my fingers did all the talking. I developed a major texting problem. I would lash out at my ex (sometimes well deserved) or the guy I was seeing last summer. It was bad, not all necessarily my fault, but I take ownership of my, shall we say, embarrassing, annoying, not well thought out, out of control texting behavior too. But there was an underlying reason for it -lack of communication.

I thrive on communication and when someone I am in a relationship with starts to pull away I want to know why. It eats at my brain, the analytical side of me then partners up with the emotional side of me and well, becomes a shit storm of texts and scenarios. I am an over thinker, my brain is permanently on overdrive. It works to my advantage most days and some days it does not.

If you ask me what I think is the biggest relationship killer? I would answer unequivocally – COMMUNICATION! I, unfortunately (and fortunately too), do not have the ability to read minds. If you are happy, sad, angry, confused or just going through something, how would I know what is weighing on your mind or what you are feeling, if you do not talk to me? I’ve had my share of passive aggressive men , liars, cheaters and just plain mean-spirited comment guys and what did they all have in common? Poor communication skills.

Communication is not always comfortable, but it is necessary. It is better to talk it out, then sit and stew, because that never ends well, at least in my case. And sometimes you need to take the first step and just ask your partner – Hey are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help? Understanding can only happen if you are aware of the situation. Break the ice and talk before you break someone’s heart instead.

#dailyprompt

 

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About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. Navigating the dating waters in my forties isn't easy but hey what in life is? My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
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13 Responses to Silence is deafening

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  2. Ity Etudor says:

    Break the ice and talk before you break someone’s heart instead. No one said it better. Thanks for taking all those stories and making beautiful art with it.
    Life always has loveliness to sell.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. UGH! I understand exactly what you mean. One of my biggest faults is wanting an answer. “I don’t know” is not an answer. Everything is said and done for a reason and I want to know what it is. Not communicating is not an answer. It’s a simple request…but apparently, not so simple for most.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Totally agree, a lack of communication had killed pretty much every relationship I’ve been in, and a few friendships. Males often get told they don’t communicate properly, or at all, but in my experience females can do it just as much but they do it for different reasons. Men do it because they are too silly to work out how it’s meant to be done, women I have no idea about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • geminilvr says:

      Both sexes are guilty if it but I can only speak about the men in my life so I guess we’ll take each other’s word for it

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can speak for both sides, I know it happens in fact I’d go as far as saying EVERYONE does it to some degree but I’m convinced it’s for different reasons. It’s those reasons that mean the communications lines stay broken because neither side know what the other is thinking but they assume it’s what they are thinking.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Author Interview – Konn Lavery – “The Mental Damnation Series” & “Seed Me”(Horror/Dark Fantasy) | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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