Last year at this time my life began unraveling. My relationship ended, I was facing uncertainty with my employment status and financial issues were taking a toll on me. The downward spiral was beginning. I was in the throes of relationship despair. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth, a new beginning, but last year, there were many endings and so much stress and sadness. Constant struggles, battles and exhaustion.
I was hoping for better this Spring and it is happening, a spike or uptick in good things happening. I deserve good, no, I deserve great! My finances are good, I’m back to being financially secure. My new position has turned out to be the best job I have ever had and has given me the ability to showcase my talents and work for someone whom I truly respect and admire and is appreciative of the work I do.
And my love life has taken a turn for the better. I am still a little cautious but I have grown more secure in my relationship because I have someone who is showing me he is in it, and wants me, flaws and all. To all those who guys who gave up on me I didn’t lose, you did. You missed out on the best version of me, the one I love and the one who would have loved you like no other. But people come into your life for a reason right? Maybe the reason was to lead me to someone who appreciates the person he is with. I finally realize again what it is like to be appreciated, and even if it isn’t always easy and perfect, it is good. Relationships aren’t easy and perfect, they involve compromise and understanding. I’ve always known that but now I know that it is like to have someone who believes that too. I’m not sure where it will go, life offers no guarantees, but I’m hopeful. I’m also stronger too if it doesn’t work out. Knowing your self-worth changes your perspective on life.
One thing I learned about myself as I look back is I am a motherfucking warrior. I can survive what life throws at me and come out stronger and better. Things aren’t always easy but I am tougher than the bullshit that is thrown my way. I still cry, I still stumble and fall, but now when I get up I don’t feel sorry for myself, I feel sorry for whomever or whatever has tried to break me. I refuse to be broken and when I do rise up I will dust myself off and keep going, because that is the best revenge to beat any demon that tries to stop me. And I will not be stopped, any more.