Uncharted Territory

via Daily Prompt: Territory

I am in a relationship again and I am terrified. He is a great guy, I like him a lot, I can honestly see it going somewhere, but I am scared. Considering how my last few relationships ended, actually considering how most of my relationships have ended in the past two decades, including divorce and a broken engagement, it is easy to understand why.

My heart and emotions have been through a lot. They have been shattered, broken, taken for granted, used and toyed with. I have always healed, dusted my self off and opened my heart and mind again to love. I usually do it fearlessly but not this time.

I don’t know why I am feeling anxious, worried and scared this time, but I think it has do with more of my fear of having my heart broken again than the relationship itself. I am usually all-in, no fear, but this time I am being more cautious. I am not afraid to express what I am feeling and or be vocal if something is bothering me, but the moments I am alone, I tend to think more. It sounds confusing doesn’t it?

I know I just need to trust and remain positive and I’m trying. But I also keep wondering if one day he is just going to give up on me, like the others. My heart tells me no, my brain likes to do the opposite and make problems where there aren’t any. It’s a constant battle between the two.

I have been through a lot and I know I deserve and am worth the best in a relationship. I have never expected perfection and also know that I am not capable of it either. He gets that too and has stuck with me and I with him. Maybe that is the unfamiliar territory I am in, a true partner who is walking by my side, not leaving it, or walking away when life gets in the way or things get messy between us. Someone who now looks at me and has told me that he has saved the best for last and that he will not let me go. And I hope he never lets me go.

#dailyprompt

 

 

 

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About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
This entry was posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, goals, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Uncharted Territory

  1. brijkaulblog says:

    Your blog is about relationships. you need to understand the naunces of maintaining good relations without getting emotional . a very good readable one .

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    Liked by 1 person

  2. commutingwithkristen says:

    This made me think of a little quote I saw the other day and instantly related to- I’m proud of my heart. It’s been played, stabbed, burned and broken but somehow it still works.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. L. Rorschach says:

    I am so happy for you!

    As you probably know, I believe heartbreak is inevitable but that the relationship can and should be enjoyed for as long as it lasts. One day at a time. Relax and enjoy the ride. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so thrilled for you girl 🙂 xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m not sure I agree with “not getting emotional.” If you’re after a platonic relationship, then I’d say that applies….otherwise, if you don’t get “emotional” why bother?
    You are right in that you deserve and are worth the best in a relationship. You’re smart. Protect your heart but leave it open.
    Wishing you good things.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Good on you for taking the leap and trying again! Sometimes the possibility of being hurt is too daunting to risk trying again, I totally understand that, but its brave of you to try! I hope its the beginning of a beautiful new adventure for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good luck, tell hi you’ll write about him if he does you wrong and he’ll stay on the straight and narrow 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. bklynboy59 says:

    Once bitten Twice shy sounds like what you are going through, however remember what thoughts you send out …they come true so if you send out negative…you can’t expect positive, so…send out positive thoughts like instead of worrying that it is going to end …look at it as an answer you have been seeking for all your life …someone who is finally by your side. Enjoy it live the moment, don’t reach too far ahead just stay in the moment and good things will continue to happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. yuhublogger says:

    I love the way you write. I’m sure your readers can relate to it. The expression of vulnerability and hope is amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

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