Lately I feel as if my luck has changed or maybe the universe is finally listening to me and what I have been asking for. After a horrible 2016 and my summer of shit, things are slowly starting to fall into place for me. Yes, there are still family illnesses, but everyone is holding steady, for now. My job is absolutely kicking my ass with the workload, but I love what I do.
But the real kicker, my love life is on a happy, steady path. I’m currently in unfamiliar territory, at least for the past few years. I lost who I was and let some crappy relationships suck the soul and life out of me, at least temporarily. This past summer changed me, not for the better. I was too needy, too sad, too deflated. I had no fight in me, I allowed myself to take blame for things that I should not have. But I have me back, the real me. I will always still be the woman who cries easily, loves hard and will try to save everyone around me. But I am now my priority. I am outgoing, emotional and will say what I feel, that won’t change. But I have also gotten my badass self back too. The woman who does not let a man define her or dictate who she should be or put up with bullshit to keep the peace.
My luck changed when I took a good hard look at who I was and realized what I needed to do to get myself back. It took work, lots of it. I still have days that exhaust me, but they don’t defeat me.
I also feel like I have hit the love jackpot. Finally, a man who accepts that we have issues, individual ones, and accepts who I am and I accept who he is. We get along well, in every way. It hasn’t been an easy road to get here, but he did not give up, I did not give up. I’m still guarded, I think my heart will be for a while, his is too, but when you fight for each other and accept each other, but most of all have understanding for each other and what you have both been through, the possibilities are endless.
So bad luck I am officially breaking up with you. Don’t worry, you will be okay, I’m sure you will sneak back in now and then and try to win me back. I won’t give in though, not anymore. And just remember it’s me, not you.