You’re so vain…

I bet you think this blog is about you.

There is an old Carly Simon song in which she sings You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine and we were discussing my blog and how I have two, possibly three, exes follow me. I know it sounds crazy but I really have not problem with it. I don’t censor my words, but I also do not call anyone out and bash. I don’t need to, I have no hate for them. Sometimes there is a longing, a sadness and yes sometimes I miss them or maybe I just miss things about them. I am at peace about them now and I am moving on with someone whom I have a very strong feeling will be in my life for a long time.

I don’t write everything in real time. Sometimes what I am feeling or who I am writing about may be combination of a few relationships or it just be one person. Of course when I am writing I always wonder if an ex thinks I am writing about him. Some posts are pretty direct, some are a little more vague. There is one ex to whom I made it clear that I would have always been open to talking with him, but I did this in my real life, not the blogging world. But I know I had to let go of the what ifs in my head and free him of my thoughts. My heart took a little more time. I opened the door many times, but he never walked through.

story

My current guy does not read my blog, nor will I let him. He knows I have one and he knows why I won’t share it. I will say this about him though – he had a lot going on when we met and still does, I was and still am okay with that. He has trust issues, I am okay with that. I have issues as well that I am working on. But most of all, he’s not running away and neither am I. We hit a rough patch here and there, but have been working through it. Time will tell where we go and how deep we get. I was told by a very wise fellow blogger and by some close friends to trust my gut. I am. He’s worth it and so am I. If you have a person in your life that sticks by you and sees your worth, you have someone worth fighting for. If that person asks are you okay? that is a person you don’t want to let go, hang on to him or her tightly.

It’s been a tough road, but I know I am worth it, even on days I don’t particularly like myself. I deserve happiness and success and most of all, peace. I still fall down, hard, and have to drag myself back up. But I do and I will. And this time I may just have someone who will help me dust myself off and keep trying. Time will tell and so will my gut.

Happy Friday everyone.

 

 

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About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. Navigating the dating waters in my forties isn't easy but hey what in life is? My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
This entry was posted in blogging, breakups, communication, dating, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to You’re so vain…

  1. L. Rorschach says:

    I’m so glad you have each other. 🙂

    The part about “if that person asks are you okay? that is a person you don’t want to let go, hang on to him or her tightly” was a wake-up call for me. Hayden never asked how I am (still doesn’t, but that’s not a surprise). He used to ask how my day was going; he rarely asked how I was doing or feeling. Slight difference, but probably insightful.

    Is this simply a difference in style or did he really not care? Hmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So this blog isn’t all about me? Colour me devastated!!

    Secret blogs aren’t really an issue, kind of like a diary you share with the whole world but the person that plays a staring role…oh hang on that sounds worse than I thought 😛 Atleast my secret blog is fiction 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are absolutely worth it! I don’t know if my ex reads my blog and I don’t care. However, I am not as gracious as you. I tell it like it is. I no longer protect him or lie about things.
    You know that famous saying…”if you can’t say something nasty about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”
    (Or was that nice?) LOL 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  4. haha I love the “I bet you think this blog is about you”. It’s encouraging that he doesn’t read your blog, even though you say he has trust issues. I think that says a lot. I hope it turns out well for you both 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. eddaz says:

    You know what? I just love it when you write it as it is…Feel no hate for no one but joy in your own heart which continues to flow..Happy Friday dear😉😎

    Liked by 1 person

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