Be aware of what you say to someone or beware the consequences. I have had hurtful things said to me by the men in my life, friends, family and those words have stung. I have been labeled, unfairly, and had assumptions that turned out to not be true. I write quite a lot about judgement and perceptions. And as I have said before words hurt and once you say them, you cannot take them back. You can apologize and say you didn’t really mean it. But to the person you said them to, they hurt.
I won’t get into a full list but below are some words and phrases that have been said to me over the years. I am brave enough to post them and it may be uncomfortable to read, but next time you think of calling someone out, stop, take a breath and think how you would feel if it were done to you.
You were dishonest, stop being so emotional, you’re just crazy, are you bipolar (I’m not and that is a terrible word to toss around), I can’t be with a cheater (never happened), she’s self-harming on purpose (said from one friend to another because I lost weight from stress), bitch, dumb, stupid, selfish, just learn to be strong and stop acting so weak all the time, you’re having an affair (also never happened), you never tried hard enough you could have been so much more. I’ll stop here.
The persons associated with these words have and have not apologized to me. Some have regretted saying what they said and insist it was only said in the heat of anger. Others still believe what they only want to believe. Regardless, even if you have not asked for it I forgive and I try to forget and move on. It’s the only way I heal.