And poof, you’re gone!

via Daily Prompt: Vanish

Today’s daily prompt made me immediately think of dating and ghosting. I recently had a conversation with someone on the topic of ghosting. Ghosting is the dating phenomenon where the person you are seeing disappears without warning, they just vanish, no explanation, no contact. The guy I was talking to was going to ghost a girl he went on a few dates with. She really liked him but he wanted to keep his options open.

I still have a hard time understanding why it is okay to vanish after getting to know someone. Why is this behavior acceptable, especially in an age where contact is easy? As uncomfortable as the conversation may be, if you have gotten to know someone you need to let them know that you are not interested. If you follow my blog you know that I was ghosted in late summer and wrote about it. It was cowardly and hurtful.

I’m not sure how many dates it takes to make ghosting acceptable. I guess in the early stages, one or two dates, maybe even three, it might still be enough wiggle room to not contact the person back if you don’t feel it. Personally, for me, I let them know if I am not interested, even if after one date. You don’t need to be brutally honest but you need to let them know. But if it has been a while, my situation was three weeks of seeing each other quite a lot, being intimate and talking every single day, on the phone and by text, then ghosting is unacceptable.

I guess dating in an age of swiping, algorithms and so many choices, it is just easier to disappear and move on to the next. Oh and don’t even get me started on the slow fade, even worse behavior. I guess I’ll just never understand it all.



About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
This entry was posted in blogging, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, dating, ghosting, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, online dating, postaday, relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to And poof, you’re gone!

  1. Ugh! Is there just a weird disconnect with some people to reality? 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, shit! I’m a ghost-er. I refused to tell that lying, cheating, disease-giving piece of shit ex of mine where I was. I just dropped out of sight. (Pissed him off, too.)
    Maybe in that case, I would be forgiven?
    Actually, I had never heard of that particular tactic. Somebody you had dated for three weeks, just disappeared? Well, I’d say “good riddance to bad rubbish.” LOL

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Aurgh! I am so angry just reading this! I felt awful recently when I mad a friend cry because I was telling her not to take any shit from this guy she met online. He was messing her around and disappearing but then reappearing. She said I didn’t know what it’s like out there now. It’s all changed. It’s like she was just laying down and accepting defeat. What’s changed is manners. Some folk are just bloody rude and cowardly! Good for you being honest!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s