Today’s daily prompt made me immediately think of dating and ghosting. I recently had a conversation with someone on the topic of ghosting. Ghosting is the dating phenomenon where the person you are seeing disappears without warning, they just vanish, no explanation, no contact. The guy I was talking to was going to ghost a girl he went on a few dates with. She really liked him but he wanted to keep his options open.
I still have a hard time understanding why it is okay to vanish after getting to know someone. Why is this behavior acceptable, especially in an age where contact is easy? As uncomfortable as the conversation may be, if you have gotten to know someone you need to let them know that you are not interested. If you follow my blog you know that I was ghosted in late summer and wrote about it. It was cowardly and hurtful.
I’m not sure how many dates it takes to make ghosting acceptable. I guess in the early stages, one or two dates, maybe even three, it might still be enough wiggle room to not contact the person back if you don’t feel it. Personally, for me, I let them know if I am not interested, even if after one date. You don’t need to be brutally honest but you need to let them know. But if it has been a while, my situation was three weeks of seeing each other quite a lot, being intimate and talking every single day, on the phone and by text, then ghosting is unacceptable.
I guess dating in an age of swiping, algorithms and so many choices, it is just easier to disappear and move on to the next. Oh and don’t even get me started on the slow fade, even worse behavior. I guess I’ll just never understand it all.