In today’s dating culture there seems to be an air of disposability, particularly when dating online. When one relationship ends or maybe just isn’t going so well it’s very easy to just move on to the next. As “relationship” girl I am still baffled by all of this. Now of course I don’t mean you have to stay in an abusive relationship but the moment something goes wrong we have the ability to discard and go back to searching, swiping and finding new choices. I’m also not talking about one or two initial dates where you have no connection, I’m talking about when you do have a connection and the moment something goes wrong, whether for internal or external reasons, the person runs.
Is the online dating culture a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not so sure, but speaking from my own experience I love how online dating makes searching for a partner easier and hate how it makes searching for a partner easier. I guess I am not one to run to the next when things go wrong, I will do my best to work it out first, but as we know it takes two to tango. Social media has made it so very hard to find that lasting love and that person who will stay in the trenches with you when things aren’t so great. If you were lucky enough to find love online I commend you. As I have said in the past, finding a date is not the hard part, staying in a relationship, at least for me, is. I won’t comment on my current relationship situation, it is good, but it is also too early to label it, and given my recent history I’m not making any predictions yet. It may sound as if I am contradicting myself but I am actually not, I think I am being a little more realistic this time. It’s just all so confusing at times.
Unfortunately I think this dating culture is here to stay. I have been off online dating sites for weeks now (except for one brief slip-up of 2 hours) and I have been so happy. I’ve been spending more time with an ex (just friends) and watching him go online constantly swiping and messaging is exhausting to witness. We live in a time of casual hookups and casual dates. I proposed being casual to an ex while trying to get him back, a few months ago, and he rightly called me out on it and said that was not me. I guess it is something I just won’t get used to and in the long run I know I am okay with that too.
On a side note I received a beautiful, heartfelt email from my ex husband regarding my Dad and his surgery and diagnosis (surgery went well, diagnosis is still pending results). I read it while my Dad was undergoing surgery and it made my cry, but good tears. He had read my post about how the men in my life always seem to love my Dad more than me. I won’t get into details about what he wrote but the words touched me deeply. I’m happy that we are friendly, he is a good guy, even if we didn’t work.