As soon as I saw that daily prompt it reminded me of online dating. Now I am so happy to say that I am currently off all dating sites, especially the one that contains the word Fish, and Plenty. It was the only one that I used regularly. I did use Bumble for a short time and hated it. The Fish site is free and was introduced to me by a close girlfriend. I refuse to pay for sites. I used Match for a hot minute two years ago and it was okay but I couldn’t stand the idea of shelling out money to view potential dates. My Fish profile is hidden and it is about to be completely deleted. I’ve kind of just forgotten about it the past few weeks. I did not have any horrific experiences but it is not something I was really into either. I have met some nice guys, some weirdos, 2 sociopaths and one, well that took a piece of me with him when he left. But there is promise with another fish, I mean guy. Read on, I’m revealing just a little for now.
So here is the breakdown of my online experience which started late April 2016 and ended sometime September 2016 (Note – there were intervals of time that I hid my profile and was not actively on it):
1 real catch, The Scorpion – sigh, if you’ve been following you know how I felt and still, at times, feel about him. I honestly wish he would have been the one I met later in the summer after I got my shit together. I honestly can’t say that I still wouldn’t go back to him if the opportunity arose but I have allowed myself to move on and it has opened my heart and eyes again.
1 almost real catch until ghosted, The Professor. Sooooo much potential, great potential but poof! disappeared. The hurt is long gone but at times I am still baffled over this one.
4 other dates:
- Fish 1: Nervous, nice guy but talked a mile a minute, with very expressive gestures. I thanked him and told him eventually I was not interested after numerous reach outs. I still wasn’t over my ex (that was the truth).
- Fish 2: Showed up drunk (no, not me, but in hindsight I should have been). I departed early and blocked him that night.
- Fish 3: Nice guy, fun, smart, still living with his ex. I thanked him and told him not comfortable with him living with his ex. He has tried numerous times to contact me, finally told him that when he is officially divorced and out of his marital home to look me up.
- Fish 4: Funny, but a workaholic like I’ve never experienced. I talked to him for a bit afterwards but time and interest slipped away, at least on my part.
- Fish 5: Very funny, cute, but not interested in a relationship. We still talk but I don’t see if going anywhere. We set our boundaries and made it clear it would not be a relationship. I think he is really just into a booty call.
And then there is Fish 6. I will not reveal anything too much about him, yet, because we have a lot of potential and I don’t want to jinx it. We have bonded and I am trying my best to just take it slow and not think ahead. He is funny, outgoing, tall (which I love!), and has an understanding and compassionate heart (which I really find attractive and want). Life got in the way quickly for him and me but so did the understanding, and that is key. You can laugh and have fun but when the bad stuff sets in (all external, not us), if he/she is still standing there and asking if you are okay and how can I help, that is what foundations are built on.
The reason I don’t want to jinx it is that when I was writing the first story about the dude that ghosted me, The Professor, he hadn’t yet done that and I was gushing about this great guy I met and how he had lots of potential and then, well, we all know what happened there. Of course his first story was then trashed and was rewritten, in a heartbreaking way.
So all in all, except for one really bad date and two guys who stalked me before they even officially met me (another crazy story), oh and of course, the vulgar, cringe inducing messages that I received on a daily basis from random dudes, I have to say that overall it has been a somewhat decent experience, especially for a girl who has only been in relationships her whole adult life. I have been off any sites for weeks now and it has been liberating. I’ve also met guys in real life too, which I enjoy so much more.
So for now I have put my fishing pole back up on its rack along with all hooks safely stored away. I’m not sure what will happen in the future, but as much as I love fish, I’m tired of the catching part. And the gutting, scaling and cleaning (just kidding).