Flattery will get you everywhere with me. I admit it, I love a good compliment. I think it is because for so long I fought for a compliment of any kind from my Ex. Yes, it may be considered a sign of a lack of confidence or neediness. But at the time, I craved it, I needed it.
My Ex would rarely compliment me but would dish out the compliments to other women on his Facebook feed as if they were a free meal at the hottest restaurant. They were all gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, you name it, he said it.
I would always ask him why didn’t he compliment me? He would respond that he did and that I just didn’t hear him. He also liked to say that the more you dish out compliments the less they mean anything. I guess in a sense that is true, but maybe I was just craving more from him than just a compliment.
Looking back I was correct, it wasn’t his compliments that I was craving, it was his attention. He would spend his mornings after we woke up drinking coffee, going through his Facebook feed and paying attention to whatever else anyone was doing except for the person sitting right next to him. Readily dishing out the compliments to the women with perfect pictures and selfies, many of them flaunting themselves as to say “okay guys bring on the compliments!” He would always tell me – you’re real, they’re all fake. Flattering them means nothing. But he never did understand, it was his attention I craved, not his flattery. I tried to tell him but it fell on deaf ears or maybe blind eyes.
Which makes me wonder. These women on social media that post their daily selfies – they are the needy ones, not me. They are fishing for flattery, attention, daily comments to boost their own egos. Spending their days finding the best angles, lighting, filters, backgrounds for their selfies. How lonely and sad they must really be? Or maybe a tad narcissistic?
As for me, I no longer care about the Facebook comments. Maybe it’s because we are no longer together and I don’t care to read his comments anymore. Or maybe it’s because I realize that most of what you see on Facebook is fake.
Flattery will still get you everywhere with me, but really only from friends, family and people I know. They actually mean it when they flatter or compliment me. It feels good, I admit it.
And of course – flattery from the occasional cute stranger may not get you everywhere but it will get you a smile and a thank you and who knows, maybe a date 🙂