Today’s daily prompt is Careful. I was editing my current post when the prompt was posted. I decided to just combine the two. Enjoy.
So as the door on the relationship I hoped would be saved closed, I decided to open the door to dating again. Well maybe just crack the door open a bit, being a little more careful this time. I’ve been talking to three guys and have a few “in real life” potential ones but not acting on those yet. Yes, I still miss you know who, but it’s time to move on. I am moving forward, and open to meeting someone new, seeing their potential.
First Guy was a fun date. He wants more from me, I don’t want more from him. He is a workaholic and it is practically impossible to make time together, plus he lives far away. He told me he took down his dating profile and wants to just concentrate on me. I plan on having the conversation today that I am not interested. It’s hard to do but seeing how my past two relationships ended and how they did not do that and ultimately how I felt, I need to be honest yet careful in my words. It’s not fair to just ignore his texts. Closure isn’t fun and it sucks to do, but I am not the type to ignore and maybe he will go away. Not fair to him or me.
Guy#2 has just gotten out of a long term relationship. I am the first woman he has dated in @20 years, after being married and then living with someone for over six years. YIKES! He is being careful about not jumping into another relationship and I’m being careful to not just be the rebound girl. He was nervous talking to me on the phone the first few times but seemed to calm down after a while. One thing I noticed is that he talks way more than me. Now if you know me personally you are probably shaking your head saying that simply cannot be true. Yes, it is. I think our first few phone conversations mirrored the Trump-Clinton debate. He would ask me a question, I would start to answer and then he would interrupt with more questions. We do have a lot in common, besides the chattering of course.
After two weeks of talking and texting we decided to meet up on a Thursday night to watch football. The game was boring but the conversation did not stop. First, let me apologize immensely to anyone who has had the pleasure of having to listen to my incessant rambling at times. Whoa, the man can talk. I have to say that by around 11p.m. I was exhausted. I needed to wrap this date up and finally said that I needed to get home as I had an early wake up call at the gym. He walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me. Cute right? Yes until he began to shove his tongue down my throat, tell me I had a gorgeous body and could not wait to get me naked. When I was finally able to wrangle the tongue into not being so invasive, he ended up being a much better kisser. I told him thank you but seeing me naked was not going to happen tonight. He said he wasn’t looking for that yet, he was only looking for a casual relationship. Hmm, I don’t remember proposing marriage to him that night either! No need to define anything on the first date. Casual is not my thing, but I liked this guy, he was fun, and that really is all the potential I see right now. We talked a little more and he asked me to text him as soon as I got home (always a plus in my book). I’ll go out with him again, maybe, but…
Sometimes, when you least expect it, you meet someone and everything clicks, at least on paper. Enter Guy #3. The conversation flows easily, and we’ve connected on a level that is heartbreaking but very real. His mom is in hospice, dying. I have a family member who has cancer, not dying, but chronic, and is struggling to deal with her endless health issues because of it and life. I feel for what he is going through. He had to cancel two dates because his mom was rushed to the hospital. I was disappointed only because I have been looking forward to meeting him but my heart breaks for him and I understand what he is going through. My family member spent three weeks at a hospital in NYC and my rushing back and forth, worrying about her and my elderly parents – it drained me and exhausted me both mentally and physically. Guy #3 goes to his mom’s house almost every night to cook for her, take care of her and most of all spend time with her, he is not sure how much time has left with her. That my friends shows true character, a quality I am very attracted to. We talk on the phone and text every day. I ask him every day about his mom. More importantly I ask him every day, how are you doing? I have learned those questions mean the world to someone when they are going through an emotional hardship. We expect to meet this week. He is funny, talkative and attentive, even with all the stress he is under. I honestly can’t wait to meet him.
This makes me think back to when my cousin met his wife, at the time my uncle was very ill. They were only dating three weeks when my uncle died and I remember meeting her for the first time at his funeral. She stood by my cousin’s side. It shows her character. They are now married over ten years with two kids and life hasn’t been easy but they stick by each other, no matter what. I can’t imagine that those first three weeks of dating were fun for them but they looked at the bigger picture and saw something more than just the person who was fun to be with.
Guy #3’s situation has made me take a closer look at what I want in someone. I love to laugh, I love to be teased and enjoy making my partner laugh. I’m silly, self-deprecating and sarcastic. And of course, I love conversation, good conversation. But it’s not all about fun and games and no issues, it’s about life and how you deal with it that really matters – whether it’s your issue or your partner’s issue. Either you are the one venting and need support or you are the one listening and offering support. I want someone who has my back when I falter as much as I want someone who makes me laugh. Be there to wipe my tears whether it’s from laughter or sadness. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. Of course, I’m being careful, guarding my heart which has been through a lot, but not so careful that it won’t open up to love again. Love wins with me, every single time.