I promised my friend’s husband that I would blog on the advice he gives me. And that he does, sometimes brutally, honest advice. I’ll refer to him as Advice Husband. He is definitely a voice of reason and hey, every girl wants a guy’s point of view, whether it’s what we want to hear or not. Advice Husband adores his wife and son. I trust his opinion, even if I don’t always want to hear it. And sometimes we ladies just need to hear the truth. He and his wife, who is a great friend, have been through my life with two recent relationships/breakups.
My relationship with someone I’ll call Complicated Guy was emotionally draining. He was emotionally unavailable, we fought more than we should have, and he never included me in his “world.” As I was thinking of a thousand scenarios on why he might come back and continually defending his actions, endlessly, with my girlfriends, Advice Husband said it best – let go and move on, it’s never going to work. I think my girlfriends also gave me that same advice, but when a guy says it, it serves as a wake up call. Advice Husband said if he wanted to be with me, he would be with me. I finally did let go and I am happy that I was able to do that. It may have been hard to hear but point taken and accepted and I am better that I did.
As for my most recent relationship with someone I’ll call New Guy, well yeah I fucked up quite a bit. We had what I thought was a misunderstanding, but for New Guy it was much, much more. I was trying too hard to talk to him and make things right and texting him way too much. Advice Husband told me numerous times to stop and did I listen? Nope, nope and nope. Then I did the unthinkable and reached out to New Guy’s friend. Big nope according to Advice Husband. Again, it was a decision that after I met to talk to the friend I knew it was a bad idea. But the friend reach out made me feel good at the moment, maybe a connection to the guy I was missing, but in hindsight it was stupid, really, really stupid and may have permanently damaged any chance at a future together.
Now I had no intention of meeting New Guy’s friend other than telling him how sad I was that we weren’t talking and that I missed him and what could I do to get him back? Even as I’m writing this I’m realizing what a big mistake it was and a poor decision on my part. Sometimes I am impulsive but my heart is always in the right place. My ulterior motive with this very bad idea was that his friend would say I was such a great girl and he should just talk to me. Unfortunately I was accused by New Guy of not telling him about the meetup until he asked me, by text, and he has told me I was dishonest. I would have told him in person but I was never given the chance. But in the end it didn’t matter. I tried to explain to Advice Husband that if the situation was reversed I’d be so touched and would run back to New Guy faster than a speeding bullet, creaky knees and all. Um yeah, guys don’t think that way and I’ve learned that the hard way. Advice husband said he would be enormously pissed too, but that now I needed to back away and lay low. Ugh, impossible for me but I promised Advice Husband I would try my best. He said stop the madness and if it is meant to be it will happen. People do worse and they come around, but be prepared for the worst as well.
Thank you Advice Husband for always telling me like it is– I am listening and hope you enjoyed your well-deserved chapter in my story! And of course his wife is still chief comforter in my life during my heartbreak and as a true friend, takes my side (haha). Oh and yes New Guy has reached out once, but is still enormously pissed. So back to laying low I go, as best I can.