Enough is Enough! or Is It?

As someone who appreciates advice, but doesn’t always want it, or let me rephrase that, listens to it, today I am welcoming it.im-with-stupid1

When do you stop trying to get an ex back?

How do you know when enough is enough?  I’m speaking of the point where you give up trying to get back someone who you know in your heart is worth it but you cannot take the let down of any more attempts. I read how strong other people are, how they are able to cut off communication and move on, and then magically that person either comes back or leaves their life completely.

In many of my relationships I have a hard time reaching that point, of completely letting go. I  try until my brain finally steps in and says ENOUGH! The funny thing is that only twice in my life has someone come back into it after significant time and both times it did not work out. Is it worth trying to exhaust every avenue or should you just walk away? Personal circumstances pushed my most recent ex and I apart, or I should say, him from me. It was and still is his issue, not mine. He just cannot handle the enormity of what has happened to him at this time.I don’t want to cut off all contact completely, but he has stopped responding to my efforts of reaching out. Some may call me foolish, maybe even desperate, but I am neither. I see the good in everyone and I felt we had something, even if it was for a short time. But right now he has to deal with something bigger than both of us. I also did not help the situation because I pushed him to communicate, when all he only needed was some understanding and time. Am I just making excuses? I’m not even sure I can answer that honestly.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. It is there for the taking, hurting and crushing. I am an open book. Unfortunately that is also my downfall. I feel, I talk, I share. I let people in. I trust. With every new relationship I swear that I will keep more to myself, but I don’t. I fail miserably in that department. I dislike playing games and will do whatever it takes to make it work, but only if I feel the person is worth it.

I consider myself a strong woman. I am also very warm, generous, loving and romantic. With me you will always know where you stand and how I feel. I’ve been through a lot in my life, more than some can imagine. But yet I can still love and be open to love, even after having my heart cut out of my chest over and over. Am I a hopeless romantic or just hopeless in maintaining a relationship?

I would love to hear stories of how you were successful in getting your ex back. What lengths did you go to win him/her back and did it work or backfire badly?

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About geminilvr

I have been through many relationships in my life, most long term, and they have all shaped who I am in some way. I try to find humor through the pain and heartbreak and find the strength to do it all over again. Navigating the dating waters in my forties isn't easy but hey what in life is? My blog is sprinkled with past relationships, current status and thoughts on it all! I hope my experiences make you smile, laugh or cry along with me and relate to the complexity that is life, my life, perfectly imperfect.
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11 Responses to Enough is Enough! or Is It?

  1. Lavender says:

    I think many times the red flags are out there that we ignore therefore making us want to be back together and then going into the same issues again. It’s just a vicious cycle.

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  2. bklynboy59 says:

    I don’t have a story about getting an ex back, however I know we do put ourselves in situations where we set ourselves up for a world of hurt and then can’t understand what happened. As Lavender said “Many times the red flags are there that we ignore therefore making us want to be back together” We do this even when we feel deep inside it’s not in our best interest to do so and fool our selves that it will be different this time. If we don’t change the behavior that led to the break up how then do we expect a different result?

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  3. It helps me to understand that everyone is not meant to
    Stay in your life forever. Trying to hold on to someone who isn’t meant to stay only causes pain for yourself. It is hard but sometimes we have to accept that truth. Know that you can be ok without the relationship!

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  4. Boy, are we kindred spirits! Until this past January, I’ve never tried to get an ex back. I’ve always been able to just ‘be done’ and move on. With this guy though, I’ve tried virtually every tactic to get him back! I’ve actually read some of those ‘get your ex back’ websites (the shame)! Truth be told, he’s come back a few times, but it’s never been the same/has been exactly the same. He’s never going to be the person I fell in love with, and is only ever going to be more of this new person (who I don’t particularly like). I keep trying to maintain, and find a way to move on. It’s incredibly difficult though. I feel your pain!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. eddaz says:

    I have never seen it a good idea to try to get an ex back, that’s actually my own opinion because for me it’s like going back to my vomit. Once I’m out, then there’s no going back and once he’s out, there sure is no way he’s going to find he’s way back in. For me life goes on. It might work for others depending on the reason for the break up but it often isn’t worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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