It was the summer of 1982 and I was still not officially allowed to date. Some rule about waiting until I am at least thirty that my Dad kept telling everyone. I had already had many crushes – Shaun Cassidy, Andy Gibb, Duran Duran, especially Simon LeBon. I had one of their early posters which I am sure horrified my Dad to no extent. I did a lot of hanging out, or stoop sitting, as well call it where I am from. It was always the same group of us and FRB was part of the group. Now I must say that FRB’s Dad was gorgeous too, as was his younger brother. His brother was only two years younger than me, so get your mind out of the gutter.
FRB used to like to tease me a lot. Isn’t that what guys do when they like you? I guess everyone else noticed in the group too and started saying he was my boyfriend. I remember just the two of us were out late one night, a night where I was allowed to stay out later and not have my mother screaming my name from the porch to get in, the rite of embarrassment for many a kid who grew up in a city. He kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed. Most of the time we snuck around and kissed in alleyways and his basement when his parents were not home. We’d listen to music and kiss and kiss and kiss. I think he may have even gotten to second base at one point. Then it happened. I had a hickey. Oh no! Evidence! It was also then that I learned cover-up could only do so much. Thank God I had long hair but there was really no hiding it.
I think it was my Mom that noticed it first. She does not hold back when she is angry and let me have it. Who did this? I was so scared that she would drag me to FRB’s house and show his mother and demand an explanation. I told her we were all just practicing kissing and I just didn’t realize what was going on. I also used this I didn’t realize what was going on excuse when I came home wasted at fourteen from drinking scotch (so refined!) but that is a story for another time. She told me I had better not be dating anyone, I was too young and that I was not allowed to stay out after 7pm for two weeks, including weekends.
Well after my prison sentence was over FRB, who was two years older than me, started hanging out with a new crew. He still was my boyfriend which basically meant we just made out whenever possible. I also started hanging out with a new crew which required me to walk or take the bus uptown and meet a group of friends. Now in this new group there were many new boys to flirt with and as we all remember at that age, act really dumb in front of. One night I started kissing another boy and one of my friends saw the whole thing. I figured she would keep it quiet but little did I know that she was after FRB for herself. So what did she do? She told him everything she witnessed. Well needless to say FRB did not take the news very well. He called me many choice names and wanted to fight the other boy. I would then get pizzas delivered to my house every night very late, had multiple hang ups, etc. It was the only time in my life I ever cheated on anyone, but hey I was really young and boy-crazy. I remember officially breaking up with FRB and he immediately starting dating my friend. Girl code violation to the extreme. I wasn’t sad but I felt a loss.
He may have been my first real love. It lasted most of the summer and as the leaves changed so did I. I started seeing more boys, all very innocent, just mostly kissing, but I longed for a special boyfriend, something that I guess never really leaves you. FRB was my first relationship and it was fun, exciting and a moment in time.
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, when heartbreak was more fleeting and relationship issues weren’t that complex. A time where we didn’t project our own issues onto another person, because those demons had not yet invaded our minds.