Surviving the storm

via Daily Prompt: Gray

Eventually the gray clouds part, the rain starts stops falling and the sun shines through. You can prepare for rain but it doesn’t always happen. You can plan for a sunshine day and then an unexpected storm passes through. Weather forecasts change.

You can predict what you think may happen in a relationship, but just like the weather, relationships change too. Some days they are blissful, some days they are more complicated. Everyone wants sunshine but not everyone knows how to deal with the stormy days. And it is how you deal with the storms that matter most.

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, postaday, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

And just like that

via Daily Prompt: Zip

Life has returned to a semi-normal pace. Everything has been falling into place instead of spiraling out of control. I’m still in desperate need of a vacation and hope to be taking one during the summer. I haven’t had a vacation in years. I’m talking taking some real time off for a stretch of time, where I can recharge and get the zip in my step back. I’m finding that although my life has become a little more stress free (if there really is such a thing), I am tired, really, really tired.

I have made some summer plans with the guy I am seeing but as always, I am cautious and a little afraid to look that far ahead yet. That is what happens when things are going well but you’ve been burned in the past. Scars are still healing and even though I am always open to love, I have to protect my heart this time. I have a good feeling about this relationship, we get along so well and he is a great guy, in every way, but of course, there is always that fear in the back of my mind that he may change his mind about me. Time will tell. Love can’t be forced and you can’t force someone to stay. This time, I am letting it happen organically and allowing both of us to just breathe and enjoy each other, and we sure are 😉

Happy Monday – have a great week everyone!

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, goals, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Life is Good

via Daily Prompt: Spike

fire

Last year at this time my life began unraveling. My relationship ended, I was facing uncertainty with my employment status and financial issues were taking a toll on me. The downward spiral was beginning. I was in the throes of relationship despair. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth, a new beginning, but last year, there were many endings and so much stress and sadness. Constant struggles, battles and exhaustion.

I was hoping for better this Spring and it is happening, a spike or uptick in good things happening. I deserve good, no, I deserve great! My finances are good, I’m back to being financially secure. My new position has turned out to be the best job I have ever had and has given me the ability to showcase my talents and work for someone whom I truly respect and admire and is appreciative of the work I do.

And my love life has taken a turn for the better. I am still a little cautious but I have grown more secure in my relationship because I have someone who is showing me he is in it, and wants me, flaws and all. To all those who guys who gave up on me I didn’t lose, you did. You missed out on the best version of me, the one I love and the one who would have loved you like no other. But people come into your life for a reason right? Maybe the reason was to lead me to someone who appreciates the person he is with. I finally realize again what it is like to be appreciated, and even if it isn’t always easy and perfect, it is good. Relationships aren’t easy and perfect, they involve compromise and understanding. I’ve always known that but now I know that it is like to have someone who believes that too. I’m not sure where it will go, life offers no guarantees, but I’m hopeful. I’m also stronger too if it doesn’t work out. Knowing your self-worth changes your perspective on life.

adele

One thing I learned about myself as I look back is I am a motherfucking warrior. I can survive what life throws at me and come out stronger and better. Things aren’t always easy but I am tougher than the bullshit that is thrown my way. I still cry, I still stumble and fall, but now when I get up I don’t feel sorry for myself, I feel sorry for whomever or whatever has tried to break me. I refuse to be broken and when I do rise up I will dust myself off and keep going, because that is the best revenge to beat any demon that tries to stop me. And I will not be stopped, any more.

#dailyprompt

 

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

See through me, but not too much

via Daily Prompt: Opaque

I no longer tolerate vagueness in a relationship. I have never been afraid to speak my mind and sometimes I react before I think. But at least my partner always knows where he stands with me. As for me, I don’t want to view my partner through an opaque lens. I want honesty and openness. I want to know if there are doubts, hesitations or if he is worried about something between us. The truth hurts, but lies hurt more. Not everyone is a talker or wants to share their feelings, some people have a hard time expressing themselves. I won’t force dialogue but I won’t tolerate passive aggressiveness either. Been there, done that and it never ends well.

As for me, I have learned to also keep some things in my life private. I am transparent in my thoughts and feelings when I do write, but I also don’t write about everything that is happening to me. Blogging about yourself is an interesting process. People will form opinions of you when they read about your life, that is understandable as they are interpreting your words as they understand them. I think we sometimes forget that. I have not written much about my current relationship. Not because I am being opaque with my thoughts or feelings , I think it may be more of a self preservation tactic than anything else. I find that when I start writing about someone current too much, the relationship implodes. Or it may be that I’m just guarding my heart this time and letting it get stronger as my relationship does too.

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, friendship, goals, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Climbing the ladder of love

via Daily Prompt: Climbing

As you climb higher and higher on the ladder of love, the height might seem scary. Your palms may sweat and your heart race. Don’t rush trying to get to the top, step on each rung and hold on tight, but not too tightly. Don’t look down and wish for the safety of the ground. Keep going. Trust in your journey. Trust yourself. You are stronger than what your mind may be telling you. Don’t let your fears stop you or make you back down. Hopefully when you reach the top your partner will be there too, hands outstretched, ready to pull you close and make you feel safe, loved and fearless.

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, friendship, goals, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Don’t hide you

posted by a Facebook friend –

Learn to love the fool in you, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes, loses often, lacks self control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects you against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom you also harbour and who would rob you of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for your fool.

Theodore Issac Rubin

Posted in blogging, commitment, communication, dating, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

I deserve a partner who thinks I hung the moon

via Daily Prompt: Timely

I found this little story today as I was thinking about what to write. I had saved it after a breakup a few years ago and it is still timely to this day. I’m not sure who wrote it so I have not given the author proper credit. I don’t have huge lists or unrealistic expectations when it comes to love except – love me, support me through good and bad and just be present. Enjoy.

I deserve a partner who thinks I hung the moon.

I deserve to be with someone who wants to hold my hand as often as possible.

I deserve a partner who will be in awe of my ass in a pencil skirt, who will tell me I am beautiful even when on days I don’t feel like I am.

I deserve to be with someone who is proud to show me off.

I deserve a partner who will celebrate my successes with me, and allow me to celebrate his successes with him.

I deserve to be with someone who can totally respect my politics, my views on religion even if we don’t share the same views.

I deserve to be with someone who, even in the biggest king bed you’ve ever seen, will want to at least have our feet touching.

I deserve a partner who can communicate, like really communicate.

I deserve to be with someone who will take care of me when I am sick or sad or tired.

I deserve a partner who wants to go on adventures with me, wide-eyed.

I deserve to be someone’s #1 teammate.

I deserve a partner who is present, emotionally and physically, more often than not.

I deserve a partner who understands the emotional exhaustion my career can sometimes cause.  And at the very least I deserve a partner who wants to hear about my day.

I deserve to be with someone who truly wants to come home to me (every single week/weekend/night, etc) that he can.  I deserve to be his favorite.

I deserve a partner who will sneak in quietly if I am napping and put a blanket over me.

I deserve a partner who will leave me a little note with a heart on it for no reason at all. Small gestures mean more to me than large ones.

I deserve a partner who loves me without pretense or doubt.

I deserve a partner that will encourage me to be my best and support me when I am at my worst.

My future partner doesn’t have to be a doctor or a lawyer or a fighter pilot. He doesn’t have to be superman or the President of the United States. He doesn’t have to be 6 foot 2 or a stand-up comedian. He doesn’t need a fancy car or a big salary or to be a certain age.  I don’t have a checklist. He just needs to love me more than anyone ever has—he needs to love me to the stars and back.  And he needs to be worthy of my love, because I have so very much to give.  I may not be sure who the man is, but I know what the love is.

This is what I have learned.

#dailyprompt

Posted in breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Take your blinders off

via Daily Prompt: Blindly

There was a time where I would go into a relationship blindly. I would believe whatever was being said to me. Experience and time has jaded my thought process. I no longer blindly trust someone, it has to be earned.

I was lied to quite frequently during my long term relationship that ended exactly one year ago today. He would tell me he wanted to work it out but was never honest with anyone that he was living with me or the status of our relationship. I kept hoping for the best when I should have just cut ties with him. In hindsight we make better friends than lovers, but at the time of our relationship I wanted to believe his words.

I realize now that protecting my heart is of the utmost important. I am open to love but I will not fall blindly into it, at least not anymore. I am a person who gives more than she takes and I have been taken advantage of as a result. I am very expressive, not afraid to state my feelings, and will give a relationship my all. But I have my limits too. We all learn from our failed relationships and some of my biggest lessons have involved trust. When you start a new relationship don’t close your heart, be open to love, but be cautious too and make sure trust is earned. And be sure to watch actions too don’t just listen to someone’s words. Words blind us, actions open our eyes.

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Healing, Dealing and Living

via Daily Prompt: Heal

Heal

If you have been following me you are aware that healing and how I’m dealing with life is the underlying theme to my blog. I was in the throes of spiraling downward when I started writing and wanted an outlet to heal. So many nights I cried as I typed. I wasn’t sure how I would ever feel better. Although I was surrounded by people who love me, I felt alone too. When you are able to talk to your friends, your closest confidantes, you feel comforted. It is when I climbed into my bed, alone, that my thoughts started and pain would engulf my heart. I kept telling myself I will get better, I have been through much worse in my life and I survived and healed from those wounds. Or did I? Do we ever completely heal or do we just learn how to deal and get stronger?

We all have scars and issues. We have all felt pain – debilitating, heart wrenching pain. To heal is a never ending process. Life is full of challenges, constant challenges. At times, you may be feeling a lull when everything is going just fine and then all of a sudden a curve ball is thrown your way. Even when you think you are fully healed, a memory may invade your mind, tug at your heart, try to break you. It may be fleeting or it may linger. But as the quote says above, the damage doesn’t disappear, but that damage no longer controls your life and your thoughts. And it may have broken you down, temporarily, but it did not break you. Don’t let it break you, but most of all don’t look at those moments when the pain returns as weakness because that is when your inner strength takes over. And when it does, you know you are on the path to healing. Always be proud of how far you’ve come and how strong your are to deal with the challenges you face. I know I am.

#dailprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, blogosphere, breakups, communication, dailyprompt, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Denying the Truth

via Daily Prompt: Denial

One thing I have learned in my later adult years and especially in the past few years, if you are in denial about someone’s actions and how they treat you, you are making up excuses for that person and just masking the truth. I have done it, we probably all have at one time or another. Excuses are exhausting. Defending someone who’s actions are indefensible is also exhausting. Why do we do it? Is it loneliness or fear of the person not being part of our life when we finally come to the realization that they are not worthy of our time and effort? Who are you trying to convince? Most likely just you.

Hard questions with answers that you may be trying to avoid. Stop the denial, stop the excuses, stop the hurt. There’s no denying that once you do, peace and happiness will eventually fill the void. I know, I’ve been there too.

#dailyprompt

Posted in bloggers, blogging, breakups, commitment, communication, dailyprompt, dating, forgiveness, friendship, goals, heartbreak, hurt, life lesson, love, relationship goals, relationships, sorry, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments